Stop eating, be happy.

I went to a hawker centre with Janson and saw a mother forcing her child to eat. I got my 'inspriration' of this post from there.

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Full? Can't stuff another mouthful of food into your mouth? Then stop eating unless you want to die and disappear from the face of this earth, forgotten in the years to come, if not, be known as someone who eats to death and be laughed at for eternity. Famous people will write articles on how stupid you are. Sometimes, all you need is the courage to stop eating.

Don't worry, cheap scare tactics like ''every grain on rice that you left uneaten, you will gain one additional pimple.'' won't and will never come true. Even if they do, there are always acne removal creams.

Adult: But think about those poor kids who does not even have enough money to buy rice to eat for a day! And those people whose countries are in war where there isn't enough food to go about! God has given you the opportunity to have 3 meals a day. What more can you ask but to finish your food up? Just imagine if you were one of those little kids! Aren't you gonna finish your food now?!

Me: No, I'm full.
Whether I am able to finish up my food does not affect those poor kids who can't afford to eat enough, even if they deserve our pity. It doesn't matter. Even when I finish the food up, it doesn't mean food will drop from the sky for them.

Adult: Farmers work all day long just to get (insert a random number, ranging from 1-10 only) grains of rice. Just finish the food. Do not waste it.

Me: No.

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Circumstance 2.
You are not full, but you do not like the food that you brought, or you just don't want to eat.

Adult: Why you eat so little and buy so much?

Me: The food isn't nice.

Adult: Then why did you buy them?!

..

Remember, you do not know what the food taste like if you never taste them before. So how can people blame you for buying food that you don't like? Unless you are stupid enough to buy something which you already knew and dislike, they can't. So fight back!

YOU: Eating when you already know that you are full is bad. The additional food that goes into your body is stored as fats. I do not want to force myself to eat and then to force myself to exercise as a result when I can just simply don't eat them.

YOU: I do not like the food. I do not want to vomit and damage my organs when I'm just (insert your age). Unlike you.

Stupid ads.

Totally lame and idiotic ads are usually everywhere these days, especially slimming ads. Just walk through any shopping centers and you'll come across at least one. The picture above is one very good example of stupid ad.

"It's amazing! I lost 5kg in less than a month thanks to Xando!"
"I recommend uZap, you'll get in shape in less than 3 months!"
"It really works, keeps your face acne free!"

Next, they use those already perfect appearances for their ads, and STILL people fall for this crap. For example they use Fiona Xie, who has NEVER been fat before uZap was made, as a model* for their product. Ridiculous.

Note that the models are paid to do what the company ask for. Not that the products are useless. The products are good, just that they use the wrong people for advertisements.

Also, slimming companies often use the same people for advertisement, usually Fann Wong, Fiona Xie, etc. If all the slimming products worked as much as what they have stated, they would be totally weightless and floating right now, at this very moment. Or perhaps negative weight.

But what we see isn't the case, so if the slimming has STILL been working out perfectly fine, that means our celebrities have been losing weight and gaining weight EFFICIENTLY with great speed and ease. One moment they lose 5kg, and the next they gain another 6kg. So we will often see them bulging out exaggeratively at one time and totally deflated the next.

I conclude that the slimming had not worked on the models, though it might still be effective as the models might not have taken the treatment*.

Competition madness.

(No pics, personal opinion)

Today I looked past all my old magazines and somehow jumped upon the Singapore Idol magazine.

Okay, I admit I'm against all the competitions show as they are obviously treating us as fish and use a bait to hook us up. They give us an idol to worship hundreds of times a day, kowtow 500 times a day till our head bleeds and brain smashed, make a religion out of it and thus the celebrity becomes a God.

Now, when this particular God dies of some kind of reason, people cry for him/her until they go blind. I believe when their parents die they don't cry as much fuck as they do compared to these celebrities. So why are people still falling into this fucking trap? Also, it is true these celebrities earn their fame by people voting for them using money. The crafty business men made these kind profit so cleverly hidden, making a fool out of so many people. I think I should elaborate.

For example the 'Survivor Round'. Why do you think they make it?! Because, the fact that you have seen how good those people whom are kicked out are, you would want them to have another chance. With that fact, you would vote more. And why do you think the finals is held for so long?

One can win the competition easily after qualified.
* Have many friends and family members
* All are fucking rich
* Willing to spend a lot of money

Many people don't realize that since voting rate is higher than professional judgment rate, it becomes very unfair. Now winning is not because the person is really the best among the contestants. It is because of votes.

'Stand-up comedians' and meditating freaks.

(Paint tool post, read bold texts especially loud.)
Bruce is a fake name, but the story is real. I witnessed it with my own eyes.
This is quite a sick post. Can't take it? Don't read it. Don't blame http://lifeaintsosimple.blogspot.com for dirtying your mind.

One fine day, Bruce was going home from Choa Chu Kang after being there. He took a LRT home from Choa Chu Kang to Bukit Panjang. Once inside, noticed some was seating and some was standing, but those firmly ain't grabbing to anything, and trying their best to stay balanced. He scanned through where the metal poles are and saw..

As a sudden brake occurred during the ride of doom, Bruce's hand make a quick grab at the pole, of which was violently rejected.


Okay, my point here is to talk about these inconsiderate people on public transports. Basically they hug the poles as if its the first time they seen it, and MY, DOES THE POLE SHINE, AFTER it was hugged by the person and possibly French-kissed.

They hug the poles with great care, and their ass rub and rub against the pole, left to right, right to left, in perfect sequence and accuracy. Then they found a seat and went to take it. The next thing you might see is that little kids rushing up the train, grabbing the poles, playing and accidentally kissing the pole, and drool on it some more. What the fuck right? Same as kissing the ass.


Okay. I think you get what I mean.

Also there are 'meditators' on the bus, emitting much magic and pure energy, bursting through time, space and seats. They look so extreme, their mere force could shatter a few bones here and there. With arms outstretched, they remain balancing on a tiny fulcrum, looking ready to collapse in no time. For example, have a look below.


(Click image for larger view)


The meditator I spotted and took a picture of. He had a force within himself, which unknowingly caused the aunt to his right to turn to him. One of his arms were outstretched and look like a snake..moving swiftly..left and right..left and right..and SNAP! Below the tail of the snake lies a dark patch, where weeds grow to their fullest. Natural fertilizer can be found there. Now, please have a look at the heavily circled area.

WHAT could HE have been DOING? Let us start from what we an see, as evidence. We can see that all his five fingers are slightly bent in, making it look like he is grabbing or scratching something. Now his hand lies between both legs, that means that the something must be between his legs.

So we have quite a lot of evidences so far, so to bring it short..
Five fingers scratching or grabbing something between his legs. Not much progress, so lets try to find more evidences.


Lets look at his expression. With eyes like those and mouth opened and arched and head tilted slightly diagonally upwards, I can safely say that he is feeling good.

Also notice that there are 3 women around him, and he is a male. These are important notes of course, you can write them down.

Now looking at his right hand again, I noticed that it is stretching out towards the right, regardless whether if it does look like a snake or not, caused much attention to people around him.
Also one of his leg is positioned tactically, for the comfort of his own, and distress to others.

In this case, he must be doing something that is not many will do, since it causes so much attention. As you can see, he is occupying much space which may be part of the distress.

With all the evidences so far lets group them together, with the bold texts most important.

*five fingers scratching or grabbing something between his legs.
*feeling good
*only male
*3 women around only
*his action causing much attention
*comfort of his own, distress to others
*only part of the distress is due to his occupation of too much space.

...


This is what meditators do on public transport, occupying so much space that people want to give then a huge smack. When actual humans come into communication with these beings, these beings gives out a shockwave, and if it doesn't knock the humans right out of balance, the forceshield created 5 seconds later did the trick.

This is why humans now use the execution format. yYu don't see humans saying 'excuse me please can you move inside please?'. Now you see humans that say 'get your fucking leg off the fucking chair and quit fucking around with me or die'.

The New Language, aka TNL.

Has anyone heard about this new "language" in the net? This language shall be addressed as TNL in http://lifeaintsosimple.blogspot.com. Trust me, it will not take me a long time to insult this pathetic crap.

I have discovered that many people use TNL in blogs, diarys and in fact anything that requires you to write English. It is a language ONLY used by Singaporeans, mostly teens, and are usually females. An example is shown below.

"ii um sh00 iin LURBBE wiff eu."

Lets analyze TNL, and find out how to read it.

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Analysis

"ii um sh00 iin LURBBE wiff eu."

Sentence: ii umm shoo iin LURBBE wiff eu.
Letters: 24

Pronounciation: i erm shor een lerbb weef eee-u.
Simple pronunciation: i erm sho in lerb with you.
Checked with actually TNL user: i am so in love with you.

Comparison:
i um shoo iin LURBBE with eu. (24letters, barely legible)
I am so in love with you. (18letters, legible)

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It is simple. TNL = SHIT. Whoever disagrees with me is wrong. Remember, your mind is controlled by me when you are in my blog. But it seems that there are people who love using TNL despite so many disadvantages for using it.

TNL is usually used by Singaporeans who think they are cute just by writing TNL. WAKE UP! TNL isn't cool, and you aren't cute even though you know TNL well enough to irritate all your friends.

Next, do not try to argue that TNL can be understood by everyone because:
I do not care.
And you are wrong! Go and ask your Mother Tongue teachers if they understand. I believe most of them wouldn't. Go to foreign countries and ask if they understand. I bet most don't. Admit it, you are finding excuses, and these excuses aren't even good enough to defend yourself.

TNL represents friendliness.
Wrong. I have seen some blogs which tell people to fuck off just because they are unhappy with their life. Why? Control your attitude unless you want to live alone forever please. Fuck off your blog? Then why all the fancy links? Delete them!

Aiya, nevermind lah! I write doesn't affect you right??
You are wrong again(:, don't you feel discouraged? EUU RITTE THISHH TAEP ORF LANGUEGG DARSH AIRFAG MUAII RIDDIN'..and mood you know.

There. Don't you feel that TNL is a useless form of communication? If you think so, you are right.

Umlassh euu fiil thishh issh march betta.

Suicide is the solution to everything.

* This post is extremely sarcastic. Please don't really go and die. If you decide to end your life after reading this blog, you are agreeing that:
- The owner of http://lifeaintsosimple.blogspot.com will not be responsible for any harm caused due to this post.
- The owner of http://lifeaintsosimple.blogspot.com is a great person who can influence your thinking by blogging.
- The owner of http://lifeaintsosimple.blogspot.com is just crapping but you the reader, took things too seriously. thus, it is not her fault at all. *

Below is the post, in case you do not recognize it.
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Can't find the solution to your problem? Having too much stress? Never fear. Trust http://lifeaintsosimple.blogspot.com. Suicide is the solution. Just take a look at the examples below:

1. Have you been requested to do housework? Yes? Then your life sucks. Parents should not have asked you to do any housework. It is their responsibility. They should not force you to learn something which you will eventually need next time and without the skill, you will bound to fail. This means your parents does not love you at all. They hate you, just like everyone else. Why not take a step back, and end your miserable life?

2. Have you been sleeping too late and constantly being punished by teachers? The reason why teachers punish you is because they HATE you, and not because they want you to pay attention in class. Furthermore, they are older than you. You must respect them, so you can't kill them. However, there is always YOU.

3. You want to buy a pencil, however to your horror, you realize that it costs 10 bucks. You know that the stall purposely wants to take away all your hard-earned money. The ENTIRE shop is going against a single person, that is YOU. What should you do? That's right, end this misery once and for all.

4. Lost your handphone on a bus? Think again. Why can't the other passengers return your handphone to you? What could be the most possible reason? They love you or they hate you? You decide! Life just can't be any worse than this, right?

5. Quarreled with your only friend? He/she is a hypocrite! Why can't your friend agree with you and pray to you 7 times a day? Why can't your friend obey your orders?! Your "friend" is a liar! You have no friends at all. Nobody loves you. Your life is meaningless.

6. Teachers giving too many remedials? They obviously hates you, and want you to suffer. Your life is tough and full of hardship. End it.

7. Tripped and fell? Imagine the embarrassment! Why not just end all this?

8. Made a wrong order at a restaurant?

9. Dropped your pen in class?