When metaphors become REAL!

(This is a relatively long post, full of crap and nonsense. If you get tired while reading this post, look at faraway objects, green preferably. Remember to switch off all electric appliances in your house, including the refrigerator. This message is brought to you by Live Earth.)

What is a metaphor? According to onelook.com, a metaphor is "a figure of speech in which an expression is used to refer to something that it does not literally denote in order to suggest a similarity". In EnEn's terms, it means: a few alphabets joined together that do not make sense. Example:

"The guy is a rock."

The guy is a rock? The guy is a rock? What nonsense is that? You would surely fail your English test and retain the year if you wrote that in your examinations.

Imagine..

"The large, landscaping sky hovers above me like the blanket soothing me every night. The sands of the shores glimmer with water reflecting rays of bright coloured light to my eyes.. The guy is a rock."

The marker would surely laugh at the composition, share it with his colleagues and send e-mails to his friends! Do you want that to happen? Of course not. No one wants to get humiliated, with the exception of all clowns.

Metaphors are used by pupils to colour their compositions and pass with flying colours (I just used two metaphors!). Metaphors are quite useful, but once they become "literal", it is dangerous. Imagine God using metaphors. We will all die!

(The word "god" in this article is not used to refer to any religion, it is only used to refer to anything/anyone that can do anything they/it/he/she want(s). Thank you for understanding.)

God: Hello my friend!
Friend: Woah, the world is feeling hot now. Global warming is taking shape..
God: I will sweep the nation with the broom of fortune.
Friend: What?
God: As in, give them food, water and minerals.
Friend: Oh..

Take note: By this time, millions would have died if a giant broom really swept them.

This is the worst metaphor in the whole wide world. This metaphor is frequently used by teachers and humans alike. And it is..

"Put yourself in someone's shoe"


I am not trying to say that teachers are bad. Teachers are very intelligent people teaching pupils or whoever to allow them to enter university/poly/clinic/junior college or even I.T.E.(it's the end). They deserve a great deal of respect. But once they use the phrase..

"Put yourself in someone's shoe"

..it's no laughing matter:

"You think what? Want to fight is it? Don't you ever DARE put me in your shoes. Your shoes size 8. My body size 56. How can I fit in? Wahlau, you think what? You're the boss? You think you're funny? Not funny ah. Whatever ah. This is not what I expect of you. I thought you're a good and well cultured person. But NO! Once I heard the metaphor in my ears, it's the end. I hate you. I hate you!" - A pupil who heard the "deadly" metaphor.

The real meaning of "put yourself in someone's shoe" is actually "To imagine that you're the person" or something like that. But to us, it's actually "to squash someone, most probably to death, into a shoe of his friend".

It's not funny. It's not funny. It's not funny.

Thank you for reading.

(I don't mean to insult ANY teacher in ANY school, please read my disclaimer before scolding me. Thank you for your kind and wonderful understanding. You're the best.)