Happy Birthday Everyone.

Hello. Welcome me back.

It has been a long time.

It's 12.43am now and school is starting like..in a few hours time? I didn't expect it to come so early and so fast. Like what everyone says: "Time flies". Damn cliche'. My holiday is basically: Resting and my usual walk around in the "city".

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Back to the topic.

There are many celebrations that are observed on this planet. Some are popular, celebrated by many and in some cases, those who are "not supposed to celebrate" them also celebrate them. Some celebrations are isolated and only a few dozens celebrate them, an example is your birthday.

Celebrations are considered important to the human race. It gives us an excuse to not go to school and also strengthen bonds between people, sometimes, literally. Well, you get what I mean.

Your Birthday.


Yup, this is exactly 9 months after your parents are married.

For this celebration, people say "happy birthday" to the intended person, without really knowing what they are doing. They are assuming that someone's birthday is a happy occasion. But in most cases, it's not.

Well, you see. On the day they are born, they must push them self out from the "place of womb" through a hole created by the baby. This process is very painful and annoying, as the nurse will be shouting in pain for unknown reasons. After that, the nurse will take out a knife and cut a tube jutting out from the belly. Directly after this, they are wrapped in towel and stored for a few days. A few days later, they will be given chocolate breast milk, worse, they can't choose who to get it from.

One year later, your parents will buy you a cake, stab a candle into the body of the cake and light the candle up with naked flame. Then, they will carry you up and force you to blow the candle. They are just finding trouble. First, they light the candle, then they force you to blow the candle. The next year, they will light TWO candles and tell you to blow them in one breath.


58 years later, your grandchildren will light 60 candles and tell you to blow them all with one breath. And that point of time, you should take a fire extinguisher, extinguish all the fire, and smash your grandchildren's head with the extinguisher.

HELLO?! How the hell are you going to blow 60 candles in one breath? Not only it is a fire hazard, but it will melt the cake and the fumes from the candles will contribute to global warming.

Therefore, I conclude, Birthdays are bad.

All this, just to say..

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

(without the unnecessary glitter)

(and foam)

(and "spider webs")