Another New Year has Arrived

Year after year, people from around the world, mainly the Chinese, celebrates what they call the "Chinese New Year". Many of these people are superstitious, but, that is wrong. They are not superstitious, they are being practical. Sweeping the floor, opening of the windows, etc. is actually useful before Chinese New Year.

1) Opening windows and/or doors is considered to bring in the good luck of the new year.

Of course. When you open the windows and doors, rich people such as Bill Gates are able to enter your house and give you money. They will also give you an Xbox 360 along with Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball 2 and a three month subscription to Xbox Live. If the doors are closed, how the hell are these people going to give you good luck?

2) Sweets are eaten to ensure the consumer a "sweet" year.

If you eat sweets, your year would be "sweet". This pattern also leads to many other truths. If you eat Fish Curry, you will get a "Fish Curry" year. So, when Chinese New Year is coming, do not eat anything else but SWEETS.

3) Some believe that what happens on the first day of the new year reflects the rest of the year to come. Asians will often gamble at the beginning of the year, hoping to get luck and prosperity.

Yes, what you do on the first day of the year will reflect the rest of the year to come. When Asians gamble at the beginning of the year, they get luck and prosperity. This also means that they will be gambling for 365 days straight without stopping, as they gambled on the first day of the year.

4) Buying a pair of shoes is considered bad luck amongst some Chinese. The word "shoes" is a homophone for the word for "rough" in Cantonese, or "evil" in Mandarin.

Also, buying clothes will also bring bad luck because the word "clothes" is a homophone for the word for "your-mother-die". When you buy clothes during the New Year, your mother will die.

5) Sweeping the floor is usually forbidden on the first day, as it will sweep away the good fortune and luck for the new year.

Instead, you should VACUUM the floor during the first day as it will COLLECT the good fortune and good fortune will be literally STORED in the VACUUM BAG. When you need good fortune, OPEN THE VACUUM BAG and the good fortune will COME OUT.

Then, eat the good fortune.

6) "Avoid clothes in black and white, as black is a symbol of bad luck, and white is a traditional funeral colour."

Learnt in primary 6, black surfaces are a good absorber of heat. When you wear black, there will be enough heat in the cloth to actually burn it and does, all your family members will die; including you. Also, do not wear white. White surfaces are good reflectors of heat. When you reflect heat to your friends, your friends will catch fire, instantly killing them. Certainly.

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Alright, that is all.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone.
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The Chinese New Year practices here are taken from wikipedia.org. Everything after the first sentence of every point is mine.