How subjects taught in school benefit us: English

(Finally a post?)

This is the most difficult subject to learn, and also, the most important(in theory), since, without English, we would not understand ANYTHING(or whatever) on the roads, while walking and even while studying. It is thereby a must to learn English.

"You are a comedian if you do not study English" - EnEn

Do you know which group of people are natural comedians? They are people who don't speak English. They don't know it, they don't realize it. If they have their own blogs, I will surely visit them.

Example 1:

Push little bit back ward to stop? Doesn't really make any sense, right? This is another reason why you must learn English, without it, no one can understand you.


Example 2:

Use a knife to cut off unneeded tape?! You crazy? You _____ (insert custom made vulgarity, as this blog is family oriented)? Imagine someone bringing a knife for their examinations.


Example 3:

Avoid a direct ray of light? How are you going to see the cardboard if you have to keep running faster than light to avoid them?


The point is, without English, everyone can trick you to choosing the wrong answer, lets say, a question in a Math examination:

Ema has the most number of sweets. Who has the most number of sweets?

1) Jacky
2) Lily
3) Ema
4) Toilet Roll

Everyone knows the answer, of course it's Jacky who has the most number of sweets. Without English, I would have guessed that it was Ema who has the most number of sweets.

The hand series: The downward point finger.

The downward pointing finger. It is an interesting gesture as it is able to change it's meaning depending on the context of the situation. An IQ of above 2 is required to be able to recognize and react to this gesture. This gesture is so complicated that I warn you, my readers, that this post could stress you out and worst still, if your family is viewing this post, please keep children below 8 years old in the toilet.

The gesture has about 4 meanings.

1) "Come here, at this spot."

When a person see the finger, they will move towards the spot where the finger is pointing at. This is the most basic meaning of the downwards pointing finger. Therefore, I would not explain this.


2) During spot check.

One will use this gesture to show the teacher that his fingernails are trimmed well and not long as, this gesture indicates confidence. When a person DOES NOT show this gesture, their fingernails are sure to be long.


3) I have only one something.

This is by far the most difficult to recognize. Sometimes this gesture indicates that one has only one of something as, if you turn his finger upside down, you will get a "1".


4) Trick.

They use this gesture to trick their victims by luring them to looking at an object below and calling them the object. (doesn't make sense, but that's not important)


Wahlau, so crappy.

Fantastic Four is gay, never watch it.

Watching Fantastic Four is like planting a bomb in the MRT in Singapore, walking under a ladder, breaking 40582 mirrors at one go and taking drugs. Once you watched it, your life is ruined. Gone. No more freedom. No more life.

Basically, everyone shouldn't watch Fantastic Four because it's a trick. It's just an attempt by someone to let you look at four monsters fighting more monsters. But that someone decided to add 'Fantastic' to four for no reason at all.



They are humans? Wrong. They are monsters. All of them. The first one (Mr Fantastic) is equivalent to a rubber band (he can stretch real long). That means he got the properties of a rubber band, if you actually cut him when he's stretched, he'll snap. He is made from the milky latex of various trees, most of him the Hevea rubber tree.

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The second one is a thing. (The thing) Just look at it's name. Who the hell will call him/herself a thing? Where is it's parents? Do you know what happened to it's parents? Let me explain, starting with sex.



So this particular sperm goes into the thing's mother's vagina and fertilized the egg. And gradually after nine months, the mother died because the rock rubbed against the mother's womb too much and burst it. The father died because he tripped on the blood on the floor. That is the end of his family.

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The invisible women, needless to say, can become invisible. What is she made of? What compound? How does she do it? And the last one (Human torch). Nice. Use him for the Olympics. He'll come in handy when it comes to lighting the Olympic Torch.

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Fantastic Four is not suitable for all ages you see.
You can't show it to kids between (0- 12) because it will definitely scare the fuck out of them.
You can't show it to teenagers between (13-20) because they are all busy growing up. You can't just disturb their puberty can you.
You can't show it to ages between (21-35) because they are busy making a family.
You can't show it to ages between (36-50) because they are busy looking after a family.
You can't show it to ages between (51-~) because they find it childish.

You can't show it to anyone in the world. Who the fuck created Fantastic Four?

How subjects taught in school benefit us: Health Education

This may be an untaught subject in most secondary schools but this is one of the most important subjects. Health education is a subject that teaches people on keeping one clean and free of bacteria on their body. This are the current topics that will be tested in next year's GCE "O" and "A" level.

1) Washing the right hand.
2) Coughing without spitting.
3) Swimming pool ethics.
4) *Washing the left hand. (only for "A" levels)
5) How to wash faeces from a butt.
6) Sweeping the floor.
7) *How to wash faeces from a butt using a tissue. (only for "A" levels)
8) *Vacuuming the floor. (only for "A" levels)
9) Not smoking.



As you can see, the topics with the asterisk is very difficult and only for those taking the "A" levels.

Let us now go back to our topic on how Health education can be of any importance to us.

So, I review topic number 9 on Not smoking.

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"As you all know, some people smoke. We should not smoke because it speeds up global warming. That is why the government is trying to limit the number of smokers and the opportunity for them to smoke, such as their inability to smoke in places of entertainment such as pubs and coffee shops, and they are called coffee shops because the only thing they sell is coffee. Now, the question is, am I telling you the truth?" - Miss EnEn, Ph.D Health Education.

Health education is also important in everyday life:


Without Health Education, our hand may not be as clean as it is now, and we may not know how to use the soap properly. As you can see by now, Health Education should be taught in my school and I am very sure that this is why people who are old, as in, those not schooling, are smokers. I think that our Prime Minister have learnt a lot on Health Education.

(And now, EnEn is complaining that she has 5 more parts to the "How subjects taught in school benefits us" series.)

Singapore is inconvenient.

Singapore is convenient, in theory.

But, people from all walks of life, old, young, boy, girl, small, big, fat, thin, those just walked out of Mental Hospital have proven that Singapore is NOT convenient at all. There are evidences everywhere and the most obvious is walking paths.

After walking around Singapore for, god knows how long, I found 231.4 "paths" which I will be calling, shortcuts. These shortcuts are usually ex-grassland turned desert. These poor grasses had been stepped till they were killed, as, the shoes block sunlight from reaching their leaves, thus, they die.


Here are the pictures I took, along with arrows showing the different paths one will take, with blue being the shortcut.




Damn it, why, Singapore, why must you be so cruel?!

Hobbies.

Everyone has hobbies. Hobbies are the best thing in the world because they are activities or interests pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation. Basically hobbies are also what you do in the free time, like when you get bored in a maths lesson.

Hobbies are the best thing in the world. I have a hobby. I like to blog during my free time. But that's out of point. The fun thing now is hobbies can be anything; swimming, reading, running, blogging. Anything! It is like 'x', where 'x' is a variable and 'y' = 0.

Everyone have hobbies. Stalin does. Hitler does. But the special thing about their hobbies is that it involves killing people, which is actually okay if you really think of it. Killing people during their free time.


There are people that I know of who have hobbies too, although it's not as fantastic and amazing as Hitler's and Stalin's hobbies, at least they have hobbies. They eat, sleep and smile.

The thing I don't get it is how they consider these three things as hobbies. I see them everywhere in Friendster. What's your hobby? Oh, sleeping! I sleep too. The thing is, eating, sleeping and smiling are like sex: they are necessary.


Listing them as hobbies is as equivalent to saying "I had sex with Michael jack`son.", and you happen to be a guy.

How subjects taught in school benefit us: Math

By far the most useless subject of all subjects.

|History|

It was found by Isaac Newton while he was sitting under a tree and when an apple dropped on his head, causing his head to bleed vigorously. As he wanted to count the amount of blood he lost, he took out his calculator and attempted to COUNT. But, it was impossible as maths was not invented yet. So, he sat down and wrote the first ten numbers:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 13.

10, 11 and 12 was only invented fifty years later, when someone tried to calculate 13 minus 2, and did not have any such number to do it.

|Present|

Schools all over the world is teaching their students Math, and these are several reasons why they have to study Math (so importantly).

1) To calculate the 2% increase in GST.
2) To pay the government taxes.
3) To NOT be cheated by irresponsible school vendors:



4) To calculate time left before recess.
5) To calculate this equation:

1 + 1 = A window!

Get it? |+| <----- LOOK! Wow, I LOVE Math! Okay, that was sarcastic. So, why are we learning Math? Here's one story: Britney Spears, who had to serve National Service, went to a barber to get her hair trimmed, and so, the uncle asked her: "I think, it would be best if I cut your hair with f(x)=3xx+4x+56 or would you want me to cut your hair which is now |2x-23|=y?" Britney stood there, nailed to the ground. Her lack of knowledge for math had proven to be fatal at times. So she replied: "2... ...plus... ...2... ...equals... ...5" The next moment, her hair was GONE.