What causes rain.

Rain is water coming from space. Space as you know is black and murky. It seems as if there is nothing inside. BUT THERE IS WATER. Water is transparent on Earth because there is light. In space, there is zero light. Light cannot bounce off the water molecule and into our eyes. But, there are many theories that contradict or are against this idea or are totally different from this idea.

1) Splash Theory of Mozart

Mozart, the great actor, who usually takes the role of a musician, believes that rain is caused by the SPLASHING action of a river. As you know, a river is a canal made by the government that flows downwards towards a water body. The movement of water causes the water to splash and this splashes is so strong that is splashed over the country and fall as rain.

2) Theory of the Inconsideration of Close Entities.

The name is profound. But don't be fooled by it. This theory is devised by Rain, the person who always pretends to sing. All it means is that your neighbour or any person near you is spitting water out of his or her mouth. This causes a great amount of water to fall onto you. This gives rain.


3) Sweat Theory

This is a short and simple theory. First, you run. Second, you sweat. Third, because you are stupid and retarded, you thought that the sweat on your body is rain. This theory is created by the President of the United States of America.


This is the rain. This rain is usually called "drizzle", since there is little water falling from the "sky".

Now, do you feel enlightened?

Mugging is a STUPID slang.

Recently, I have been hearing the word 'Mugging' being used more and more often. Mugging sucks. All my friends have very similar idea of the word 'mugging' as studying very hard.

But I don't get it. How the hell can the word 'Mug', a drinking cup, usually cylindrical in shape, having a handle, and often of a heavy substance, as earthenware, have any association with the word 'study', application of the mind to the acquisition of knowledge, as by reading, investigation, or reflection?

When I first saw the word mugging in one of my friend's e-mail address, it didn't make sense at all to me because at that time, the term 'mugging' means a drinkable cup with 'ing' at the end to show that someone is actually 'doing a drinkable cup', which doesn't make sense.

I was right. Mugging is not studying. Stop using the word 'Mugging' when you are referring to studying, you don't sound cool or impressive. You just sound stupid. Because when you say you are mugging, you are actually doing this.


You are actually assaulting someone. With the intention of robbing.

So please stop using the word mugging.

If you use it, you really need to learn some new slang.

Shut your kid up.

You shouldn't read this article if you're a stubborn bitch, because I wouldn't want you to flood me with all the moral values that you know of which you probably don't have yourself. (Example: Honesty)

Children tend to be able to get away with all sort of nuisance they make, particularly murder, assault and pollution. I'm going to be brave this time, step forward and start criticizing them.

When going through a job interview, the employer usually looks out for people with great experience, high education and a suitable age. Kids have the surprisingly rare combination of having none of these.


Children are loud, noisy, troublesome and irritating. Further more, they don't contribute anything to the society. They can't work. They can't boost the economy. Children tend to come in all shapes and sizes yet still prove themselves to be useless.

Discipline need to be instilled from young, right back where people are still kids. Parents should always ensure that their child never speaks a word to the world. Other than this, parents should also ensure that their kids restrain from the following activities:

Screaming
Crying
Shouting
Assault
Leaving home
Just talking loudly

Because you don't want strangers to shut your kid up. Unless you want them to, make sure that you never ever let your kid scream in the MRT and annoy me.

Celebrities.

Beware that this post is highly controversial.

I do agree that the media creates a mountain out of a molehill. The funny thing is, people love reading tabloids.

I admit, celebrities do have pretty "interesting" lifestyles, but still, they're just human that entertains us for a living and of course, make tons of money. The paparazzi should give them some leeway and stop shadowing celebrities into their private lives. Excluding the mentally deranged Britney Spears (Who was recently being photographed without wearing any underwear beneath her skirt. However, it's good to know that she isn't a hermaphrodite), who is a media whore and loves being the centre of attraction. She's dating paparazzo, Adnan Ghalib. Has he been "paparazzi-ing" her? And for those who didn't know, she lost custody of her child a few days ago. This was because Britney had a "drug-and-alcohol-fueled lifestyle."

Back to the topic.
People like Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Zac Efron, Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse DO deserve their privacy.

Okay, maybe not Angelina Jolie, she's nothing but a manipulative bitch. What's up with her breaking up so many families? It looks like she has a fetish only for married men. In fact, she doesn't even really like children that much; she called Shiloh, her biological child, a blob. I think she adopts so as to make up for all her sins. It's unbelievable how she was voted as Forbes magazine's #1 celebrity humanitarian. And I wonder how many times has she had her lips injected with restylane. To worsen things up, she's anorexic too.

Jennifer Aniston is just trying to concentrate on her career. She has around 8 movies coming up. It's obvious that she has long gotten over Brad Pitt. It's been almost 3 years since they've been divorced yet people just can't get used to the fact that they're not together anymore. She's rumoured to be dating Jason Lewis and is probably with child. Can't people just leave her alone?

The second picture above is said to be Zac Efron. If it's true (I believe it's a fraud though), it just proves that Zac Efron has had rhinoplasty. I don't see what the fuss is about. Most celebrities has been under the knife at least once.

As for Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse, so they've been in and out of rehab countless times, big deal. Just let them take their drugs!

The bottom line is paparazzi are irritating. They really should get a life.

Spiderman.

One day, there was..Spiderman. Spiderman is a person who is bitten by a spider. This type of people can move very fast. When they move very fast, they can move at the speed of light, but when they want to slow, they must "pause" themselves. This is called:-

"Menopause."

The act of webs flying out of the wrist is not actually from the spider. It's a result of wrist cutting, something most emotional people such as Bill Gates do. Wrist cutting opens up a hole near the hands, when you use you fingers to press the wound, blood will gush out, this is the "web". This is a testimonial from a girl who started cutting her wrist:-

"I started cutting when I was 14. It was fun, I could swing from building to building. But one day, I cut too deep that I accidentally cut my bones and I had to go to the hospital as I fractured my bone.


Now, I stopped wrist cutting, but started wrist-stabbing. It's better to stab the wrist than to cut it. I use screwdrivers..sticks..whatever I can find."


This isn't rare in modern society, as there is a great increase in the availability of knifes, especially during Home Economics in a typical Singaporean school. There are many cases where a person is accidentally murdered because a friend of theirs wanted to help to stab his friend's wrists, but did it too hard.

There are some skeptics about the spiderman theory. They reasoned that why will a man change to spiderman but a snake biting a man would not change a person to snakeman? This question was discussed during the UNCCC, which stands for "United Nations Climate Change Conference".


Bush wasn't happy about this. However, nobody really cares.

Change of topic.

Mcdonald's was sued for littering near a bus stop at West Coast Road. They denied the accusations, but the judge said that their name "Mcdonald's" was written everywhere.

Happy Birthday Everyone.

Hello. Welcome me back.

It has been a long time.

It's 12.43am now and school is starting like..in a few hours time? I didn't expect it to come so early and so fast. Like what everyone says: "Time flies". Damn cliche'. My holiday is basically: Resting and my usual walk around in the "city".

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Back to the topic.

There are many celebrations that are observed on this planet. Some are popular, celebrated by many and in some cases, those who are "not supposed to celebrate" them also celebrate them. Some celebrations are isolated and only a few dozens celebrate them, an example is your birthday.

Celebrations are considered important to the human race. It gives us an excuse to not go to school and also strengthen bonds between people, sometimes, literally. Well, you get what I mean.

Your Birthday.


Yup, this is exactly 9 months after your parents are married.

For this celebration, people say "happy birthday" to the intended person, without really knowing what they are doing. They are assuming that someone's birthday is a happy occasion. But in most cases, it's not.

Well, you see. On the day they are born, they must push them self out from the "place of womb" through a hole created by the baby. This process is very painful and annoying, as the nurse will be shouting in pain for unknown reasons. After that, the nurse will take out a knife and cut a tube jutting out from the belly. Directly after this, they are wrapped in towel and stored for a few days. A few days later, they will be given chocolate breast milk, worse, they can't choose who to get it from.

One year later, your parents will buy you a cake, stab a candle into the body of the cake and light the candle up with naked flame. Then, they will carry you up and force you to blow the candle. They are just finding trouble. First, they light the candle, then they force you to blow the candle. The next year, they will light TWO candles and tell you to blow them in one breath.


58 years later, your grandchildren will light 60 candles and tell you to blow them all with one breath. And that point of time, you should take a fire extinguisher, extinguish all the fire, and smash your grandchildren's head with the extinguisher.

HELLO?! How the hell are you going to blow 60 candles in one breath? Not only it is a fire hazard, but it will melt the cake and the fumes from the candles will contribute to global warming.

Therefore, I conclude, Birthdays are bad.

All this, just to say..

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

(without the unnecessary glitter)

(and foam)

(and "spider webs")